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Words & Effect

Speak With Impeccability

· Personal Development,People

"Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but ONLY such a word as is GOOD for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will GIVE GRACE to those who hear". - Ephesians 4:29 (NASB version)

The number of people who speak without the consciousness of what they say is in no diminutive measure as most people rarely stop to think about what they are saying. Our thoughts, opinions, judgments, and beliefs roll off our tongues without a care for the damage or the benefits they produce. They often impact people positively or negatively for decades.

I remember I had just turn ten years old at the time; and was attending the esteemed Palmer Primary School at Sapele, Delta State (then Bendel State). There was this schoolmate of mine who usually would make jest of me every now and then, saying "Aligba Man! You have one very BIG head!"

Was I mortified by the careless and seemingly harmless jesting about the size of my head? You bet, I was. I honestly didn't know how to confront Kingsley every time he made such silly remarks. I wanted to cry as I felt constantly bullied but always, I managed a little laugh - like it didn't really bother me. But it did.

Every day from that point forward, I would look at myself in the mirror. All I could see was my really big head, Kingsley joked about. In fact, the more I looked at it, the more it appeared even bigger than I had thought. The size of the head seemed to dwarf every other feature on my body. I studied it from every angle, but kept coming back to the same conclusion that: I WAS MERELY A LIFE SUPPORT SYSTEM FOR A BIG HEAD. It was my defining feature. But thankfully, I eventually grew out of that belittling perception even though it literally took me a long time.

It just goes to show you how powerful words can be. A careless word can shape - or misshape - someone's reality for years to come. Do NOT underestimate the power of words because everything we say has an effect on the world around us. Everything we say to someone else produces an effect in that person. In paraphrasing the words of my Spiritual Father, Esteemed Mentor & Life Coach, Rev. (Dr.) Chris Oyakhilome, "words when spoken carries a tremendous amount of sound energy or sound waves that affects your world and ultimately the circumstances of your life - negatively or positively.". Think about it!

That's why we must go beyond just knowing that we are constantly creating something - either positive or negative - with our words. We must begin entrenching very deeply the culture of speaking impeccably and responsibly too - anchored on a high degree of intentionality and presence of mind. Because this is one sure way to RE-CREATE ourselves, our families, our relationships, our businesses, or anything at all, you name it. If you're like me who regularly thinks in terms of 5years, 10years, 20years and more, this becomes an imperative move for a significantly productive and wholesome future.

The truth is, our words put out a certain energy or message that creates a reaction in others - a reaction that is usually returned to us multiplied. IF YOU ARE RUDE, IMPATIENT, ARROGANT OR HOSTILE, YOU CAN EXPECT NEGATIVE CONDUCT TO BE RETURNED TO YOU.

When we speak with impeccability, our words have power NOT only with ourselves but also with others. To speak with impeccability is to speak only words that are true, words that are kind, words that honourable, words that uplift, that build and that affirm other people's worth. And as you practice speaking this way, you'll discover that WORDS are also the basis of all relationships especially our marriages. HOW I SPEAK TO YOU AND ABOUT YOU DETERMINES THE QUALITY OF OUR RELATIONSHIP.

Be extraordinary. Be different. Become a person who speaks words of inclusion rather than words of separation, words of acceptance rather than words of rejection, and words of tolerance rather than words of prejudice.

Always ask yourself: Is what I am about to say going to advance the cause of my vision, mission, and goals? Will it uplift or build the hearer? Will it inspire, motivate, and create forward momentum? Will it dissolve fear and create safety and trust? Will it build self-esteem, self-confidence, and a willingness to risk and take action?

When we speak ill of another to anyone else, it may temporarily bond you to that other person, but it creates a lasting impression in the other that you are the kind of person who gossips negatively about others. That other person will always be wondering - even if unconsciously - when you will turn that verbal poison against them. It will erode their sense of deep trust in you. What you say about others matters even more. You can STOP the vicious cycle of negative talking! Understand that life may already be so hard for a lot of people around you, so please, don't make it harder with unseasoned words. If you're like me, I refine and elevate the quality of my words everyday by studying the Book of all Books, the Bible. To be continued.

Thank you so much for giving me your precious time today. I feel very honoured and privileged to have shared my thoughts with you. God bless you, your family and all that concerns you in 2016. Accept my warmest regards and love.

With the Usual Esteem & Appreciation,

Christian Aligba is the Founder/President of C.A.L.F Africa, a non-profit organization that's keenly developing and recognizing the next generation of African leaders - helping to create a new narrative, a new normal, a new beginning. Better Leaders, Better Societies across Africa. Learn more@

"Handle them carefully, for words have more power than atomic bombs." - Pearl Strachan

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